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Dear [name], you: 
[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] Aol'er 
[ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek 
[ ] Spammer [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis 
[ ] Fed [ ] Freak [ ] Scientologist 
[ ] Scammer [ ] Dumba$$ [ ] Pre-teen 

You Are Being Flamed Because: 
[ ] You posted binaries in pieces LESS than 5000 lines 
[ ] You posted something asking for warez sites 
[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply 
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread 
[ ] You started an off-topic thread 
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message 
[ ] You posted a blatently obvious troll 
[ ] You posted pretending to be someone famous (See "troll" above) 
[ ] You replied to the above message type believing it was someone famous 
[ ] You said "me too" to something 
[ ] You suck 
[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks 
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme 
[ ] You posted a [censored] ad in a place where it didn't belong 
[ ] I think you might be a fed 
[ ] You posted in 3lIt3 CaPiTaLs because you think that makes you cool 
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally worthless that you are being flamed anyway 

To Repent, You Must: 
[ ] Give up your Internet access 
[ ] Hang yourself 
[ ] Tell your Mommy you've been a bad boy 
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor 
[ ] Actually post something relevant 
[ ] Read the FAQ 
[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month 
[ ] Trade your jar of Vaseline for a tube of BenGay 

In Closing, I'd Like to Say: 
[ ] Blow me 
[ ] Get a life or rent one with an option to buy 
[ ] Never post again 
[ ] Age 10 more years before you post again 
[ ] You couldn't do anything with a brain if you had one 
[ ] Go to hell 
[ ] Yer momma's so fat/stupid/ugly that etc... 
[ ] Get [censored], you pathetic loser 
[ ] All of the above